Mental Block
I hate going shopping. I hate trying clothes on, I hate the crowds, I hate watching people who love shopping. Harumph! So I use the web to order most of the things I want.
Every once in a while, though, I’ll order by phone instead of placing an online order, particularly if the company’s website is difficult to operate. I’d say about 90% of my phone calls to telephone sales agents proceed exactly as follows:
Me: I’d like to order item #41928.
Order-taker: Great. May I have your name?
Me: My first name is Narayan. That’s spelled n a r a y a n.
Order-taker: …
Order-taker: Could you repeat that?
Me: Sure. My first name is Narayan. N a r a y a n.
Order-taker: OK, Ryan, could I have your last name?
Me: No, my name isn’t Ryan. It’s Narayan.
Order-taker: I’m sorry. Could you…
Me: N a r a y a n.
Order-taker: N a r y a n, right?
Me: No. N a r a y a n. There is an ‘a’ between every letter.
Order-taker: Oh! N a r a y a n.
Me: That’s right.
Order-taker: Narayan. That’s a unique name. What kind of name is it?
Me: Indian.
Order-taker: You don’t sound Indian.
Me: I grew up by Chicago.
Order-taker: I know someone in Chicago.
Me: …
Order-taker: …
Me: So my last name is Nayar. That’s spelled N a y a r.
Order-taker: …
Order-taker: OK, how about your last name, though?
Me: That was my last name. N a y a r.
Order-taker: …So your first…
Me: My first name is Narayan. N a r a y a n. My last name is Nayar. N a y a r. Narayan Nayar.
Order-taker: Whoa! Slow down!
Me: Sorry.
Order-taker: Your first name is spelled N a r a y a n.
Me: Yes.
Order-taker: Your last name is spelled … how again?
Me: N a y a r.
Order-taker: OK, what’s your address?
Me: I don’t mean to be a jerk, but could you tell me how you’ve entered my name? I’ve had charges to my card denied before because my name was spelled wrong.
Order-taker: Sure, no problem. I have a first name N a r a y a n. I have a last name N a y r.
Me: No, the last name is spelled N a y a r. There’s also an ‘a’ between every letter.
Order-taker: N a y a r is your last name.
Me: Yes.
Order-taker: Hmmm. Is there an ‘a’ between the ‘n’ at the end of your first name and the ‘n’ at the start of your last name?
Me: No.
Order-taker: OK. Because you said there’s an ‘a’ between every letter.
Me: …
Order-taker: How do you say your name again?
Me: Narayan Nayar.
Order-taker: Your names are very similar.
Me: …
Order-taker: I mean, they’re almost identical.
Me: My address is…
This is about the only time I actually find myself wishing all corporate phone operations would be outsourced to India. I called Dell the other day to check up on an order, and the conversation couldn’t have gone more smoothly.
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14 responses
Comment posted at 11:38 on Saturday, June 18, 2005
That is sad as well as hilarious. I feel your pain but I also can’t help but laugh at how stupid some of these people taking orders are. I would think the company’s website would have to be pretty bad for me to want to call and go through that whole ordeal!
I guess you have to cut them some slack I mean they aren’t making a ton of money and so these companies that hire people to take orders don’t get the top of the gene pool if you know what I mean!
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Comment posted at 15:31 on Saturday, June 18, 2005
You poor bastard…
You must have REALLY wanted that purchase.
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Comment posted at 19:11 on Saturday, June 18, 2005
Hahaha, that sure put a smile on my face. Sorry it had to be at your expense. ☺
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Comment posted at 20:17 on Saturday, June 18, 2005
I know what you’re going through to a certain extent. Everytime I give out my last name there’s a giggle and a “are you serious?”
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Comment posted at 22:36 on Saturday, June 18, 2005
I feel your pain, but I don’t think there’s anyone from any country that would get my name right. Usually, it consists of reversing my first and last names, and mispronouncing them.
Order-taker: May I have your name?
Me: Derwood Eadie.
Order-taker: How can I help you today, Eddie?
Me: Okay. Let me spell it for you…
Sheesh. For the longest time, the name on my phone bill was really mangled: Derwonn Eddie. And though they may not be well paid, there is no reason that they can’t actually pause to listen to what the caller may be saying.
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Comment posted at 02:01 on Sunday, June 19, 2005
Oh dear… this kind of thing used to happen to me all the time, merely because my first named looks like a last name. Funny thing is, it’s Irish, so you’d imagine people here in Ireland wouldn’t have a problem with it, right? Wrong…
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Comment posted at 19:41 on Sunday, June 19, 2005
I’ve received junkmail addressed to:
-Maryann Nayar
-Ryan Nader
-Norian Noriman
-Norman Mayer
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Comment posted at 01:58 on Monday, June 20, 2005
I’e got another one for you: I have a friend and former work colleague named Tadhg (pronounced Tyge), which is not an uncommon name in Ireland. Unfortunately, head office for the company we both worked for is on Britain—he once received correspondence from HQ addressed to ‘Tike’.
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Comment posted at 14:03 on Wednesday, June 22, 2005
I couldn’t resist commenting here, in sympathy. My name looks deceptively simple, and yet seems quite difficult to *hear*, and so people default to the next word that makes sense. The end result is a comedy of frustration.
Me: My name is Malka
Them: Nice to meet you, Monica.
Me: No, not Monica. Malka
Them: Milka?
Me: Maaalllka
Them: Mocha? Malva?
Me:…
Them: Malika? I’m sorry, what?
Me: M.A.L.K.A…Maaalllka
Them: (pause) oh. Malka?
Me: (smiles weakly) Yes.
Them: That’s neat, where’s it from?
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Comment posted at 14:24 on Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Oh, fantastic. *rolls her eyes* You know, I’m always impressed when people can’t spell phoenetic names. American names are harder than some Indian names, with silent letters and such.
Also, one thing I learned in retail that they don’t seem to teach people anymore, is that you never, EVER comment on sometimes ‘unique’ name. It’s just rude!
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Comment posted at 18:15 on Tuesday, June 28, 2005
My last name used to be four letters long and people would still find it confusing:
“Mara.”
“Mara? Right, so how’s that spelled?”
“M-A-R-A.”
“M-A-R-A, that’s it? Simple.”
(Then why did you ask, foo.)
Very frustrating.
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Comment posted at 17:50 on Thursday, June 30, 2005
People get my last name wrong a weird amount of the time. My P.E. teacher at school refused to pronounce it correctly no matter how many times I corrected him. We hated each other. It’s pronounced “Peert”.
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Coucou33
Comment posted at 20:31 on Tuesday, August 09, 2005
You really made me laugh !! I have this kind of discussion every single say 
)
So now that they mastered the indian name…. They have to go through the French one !
And man, how difficult can it be ?!?
So usually when ever someone is asking for my name, I usually give out only my first name… Ingrid… which generally comes up as “England”…
And when they want the last name, I asked them twice if they really need it 
Cause it can take a veeerrryyyyyy long time…
But the best part is when I write my name down on a waiting list or something… And they have to call it out ! LOL !!
Usually we know it’s our turn when we hear something like “hummm… Eeennnn…. hum… eengweed. dukee… “ )
Have a great day!
And keep posting
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James Ottoson
Comment posted at 18:40 on Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Just had to say something seeing as some people have mispronounced my last name…
I’ve heard AhToSun making it sound Japanese…
I’ve been corrected by spell checkers with ‘OttoMan’ I’ve heard.
Ah-ti-sin
O TOE SEN
Uht Uh Sen
Oh Tohe Shin
Uh Tuh Sun
(Very weird one is)
Otto-Totto-Sin……
Dont get me started on spelling…
Its pronounced Ah (Like the noise a dentist makes you make when opening your mouth and sticking out your tounge)
TI (Like the first half of Tick)
Sin (like…. SIn….)
Ah-Ti-Sin
Ottoson
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